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MUSINGS – March 15, 2019
WHY DID YOU DOUBT?
After sending the people away, he went up a mountain to pray by himself. When evening came, he was there alone. The boat, now hundreds of yards from shore, was being thrown around by the waves because it was going against the wind. Between three and six o’clock in the morning, he came to them. He was walking on the sea. When the disciples saw him walking on the sea, they were terrified. They said, “It’s a ghost!” and began to scream because they were afraid. Immediately, Jesus said, “Calm down! It’s me. Don’t be afraid!” Peter answered, “Lord, if it is you, order me to come to you on the water.” Jesus said, “Come!” So Peter got out of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he noticed how strong the wind was, he became afraid and started to sink. He shouted, “Lord, save me!” Immediately, Jesus reached out, caught hold of him, and said, “You have so little faith! Why did you doubt?” When they got into the boat, the wind stopped blowing. The men in the boat bowed down in front of Jesus and said, “You are truly the Son of God.”
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In the midst of the storm, Jesus came to them. And in the middle of our “storms” Jesus comes to us still.
Looking back on my own life, I remember the storms. During those storms I’ve often had that odd mix of faith and doubt that Peter demonstrated. In the midst of my fear I’ve cried out to God, “Help me, I can’t do this alone!” At the same time that I was crying out in faith, the doubts would come rushing in. “Can he save me? Will he save me? Is hee even listening? Does he care? Has he abandoned me? Is he even real?” In those times of trouble and distress I sometimes forget the times that he has already proven himself to me.
Then came the rescue that I needed. He lifted me once again from sinking into my fear and doubt. Once again I would praise him as my savior. When all doubt was gone I could almost hear him say, “Why did you doubt?” Once again I have to say, “I believe. Forgive my unbelief.”
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